Going the Distance

The institution of marriage, which dates back to the first man and woman on this earth, is an essential building block for a society and an example of the love that our Savior has for His bride, the Church.  God provides the resources for marriages to last, to be strong, and to reflect His presence.   In Ephesians 5 (ESV), Paul includes a quote from the book of Genesis, and writes:
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. ”
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Noted marriage researcher Brad Wilcox of the Institute for Family Studies at the University of Virginia posted this on X recently in response to a Wall Street Journal article on rate of divorce and its consequences:

Hey, @WSJ, why not tell your readers that

✔️ Divorce is down
✔️ Most marriages go the distance now
✔️ Great programs exist to help couples navigate marital distress/failure successfully

?

He posted a chart that showed that in 2021, the rate of newly divorced people per 1000 Americans was 13.6 percent.  That is lower than every census year since 1960.  The IFS website noted in an article from last year: "Prior to the divorce revolution, less than a third of marriages ended in divorce. But the cultural transformation of the 1960s and 1970s radically changed the stability of American unions. It’s from such marriages, formed during the heyday of hippies through the MTV era, that we get the idea that 50% of marriages end in divorce. And it’s this picture of marriage that has been pressed into the American understanding of the fate of newlyweds."  The article goes on to say:

Using the Survey of Income and Program Participation (SIPP), we found that new marriages are stronger today than every decade since the 1950s. While new marriages in the 2000s initially resembled those from the 1990s, divorce rates slowed down after 5 years into marriage. By 20 years in, marriages in the 2000s were performing similarly to those from the 1960s.

Wilcox and his associates in this IFS article also address what is called "gray divorce:" the phenomenon of older people ending their marriages.  They write: "When 'gray divorce' is analyzed today, it is those marriages formed during the turbulent years of the divorce revolution often being observed. Consider that over half of married adults over the age of 60 wedded in the 1970s and 1980s. When we look at heightened divorce rates among older Americans, we are seeing, in part, the long tail of the 20th-century upheaval. The stability of new marriages suggests this revolution is over."

The same day last summer that this article was released, The Daily Citizen of Focus on the Family released an article about the ministry's report, Marriage Health in America, which said that “74% of marital relationships in the U.S. may be considered as healthy.”  Focus on the Family President Jim Daly noted that “even more significant, the percentage of healthy marriages increases to an amazing 82% when we narrowed down our findings to those who are deeply committed to the Christian faith. Without question, living by one’s Christian convictions makes a difference...”

The study also noted that, “21% of marriages may be considered in a state of crisis — where the couple is pursuing divorce or considering divorce or just have no hope for the marriage. Convictional Christians were found to experience the lowest rate of a crisis state...”

So, for Christian married couples, there is great hope.  When we come together in a relationship that is centered on the love we have for Him and for one another - true, unselfish Christlike love, that can contribute to a marriage going the distance.  

And, the cultural trends concerning marriage that IFS and Focus report shows that the conditions for marriage are advantageous for couples in staying together.  The idea that marriages are fragile and temporary and that the divorce rate is skyrocketing can lessen a sense of confidence that a couple can actually stay together.  These trends now show the societal conditions have changed.

When we build our marriages and families on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ, we can be confident that He goes with us and by His love and power, we have the spiritual resources to exemplify Him in our homes.