Divorce Down, But So Is Marriage

God has an tremendous intent for marriage - not only is it a gift that He has given to couples, but it is an essential building block of a healthy society.  God's intent is that children are born to married couples so that they might populate the earth.  Now, it appears fewer individuals are participating, leading to fewer births and even some births to non-married couples, which is not part of His overall plan.  Hebrews 13:4 (ESV) states:
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

The Institute for Family Studies has released some new research on the rate at which marriages end through divorce.  A recent article asks the question, "Could a decline in U.S. divorce rates, as recently reported here at IFS, be bad news?"  A provocative question indeed. The article goes on to say: 

A couple entering into their first marriage in the 1990s had about a 47% chance of splitting up, while newlyweds today are estimated to have only a 40% chance of divorcing. It’s still far from what we would desire for an institution intended to be “till death do us part,” but the decline in divorce is a small ray of hope for the 88%  of Americans who falsely believe the divorce rate is increasing. Still, the overall picture is bleak.

So, why is a decline in the divorce rate a bad thing?  The answer, as the article says, "That’s because marriage rates have dropped sharply in tandem with the decline in divorces."  It adds:

The decline in marriage isn’t just a matter of a shift to cohabitation. More adults are spending their prime years alone. The Pew Research Center has calculated that in 2019, 38% of adults aged 25-55 were unpartnered, compared to 29% in 1990. Cohabiting has risen only modestly as marriage has declined more sharply, and the end result is that more people spend their lives alone.

Obviously, as the writer of the article, Leah Libresco Sargeant, points out, a better report would be that, yes, divorce is declining, but the marriage rate is increasing.  She also relates: "It would be good to see a reversal of recent trends in the Monitoring the Future study of high school seniors. Boys and girls have, in recent years, seen about a 10% drop in how many of them expect they could be 'very good' spouses."

She adds, "Similarly, a strong future for marriage probably requires a reversal in recent youth trends that show a sharp rise in neuroticism and a corresponding drop in conscientiousness. Care for other people and resiliency are both critical to navigating the ups and downs of marriage. Thinking less of others and becoming more anxiously fixated on one’s own thoughts and feelings makes it harder to match and stay married."  

Ultimately, as she writes, "The goal should not be to dissuade marginal marriages but to prepare men and women to make strong marriages."  She also recognizes that the Church has a part to play in promoting marriage, writing:

Churches and schools can also try to offer support earlier in the process than when a newly engaged couple shows up to ask about a wedding date. Part of high school sex education as well as teen groups at church should be hearing from a range of couples about how they met and how they decided they were ready for marriage. It makes a difference to think of “Should we get married” as a question you can actively ask, not one for which you passively await revelation.

So, there are those, especially in the younger generation, who have soured on marriage - that is true, and Christians are uniquely positioned to enter into Christ-centered marriages that will model, as Paul stresses in Ephesians 5, the relationship of Christ and the Church - a relationship in which love, self-sacrifice, and joy flow.  We can be not only ambassadors for Christ but people who are so devoted to marriages that single people in our sphere of influence would certainly want to follow suit.

Of course, that doesn't mean that to be single is to be "less than."  I think Paul was certainly clear that God will use single people powerfully.  But, you have so many that stay single because marriage is no longer appealing to them - that has societal implications.  Some will resort to producing children in a cohabiting relationship or even adopt through a same-sex relationship - these are certainly not according to God's plan and therefore can and should be avoided.

The Church can become involved in preparing couples for marriage and providing resources for them.  Faith Radio programmers, such as Focus on the Family and FamilyLife, are devoted to helping couples and families to live according to God's divine intent.  Churches can reflect a dedication to promoting and preserving the marriage relationship - in the big picture, this is a key opportunity.